The Modern 'Roughing-It'

Mankind has always had a simple way to prove its strength, power, and natural abilities: the art of 'roughing it'.  'Roughing-it' is basically when a man (or woman, but not as often due to higher intelligence and sense) goes into something, such as camping trip, hunting, traveling, etc. woefully unprepared on purpose, determined that through sheer talent and ability, all will go well.  The stories that result from 'roughing it' come in one of two forms: (1) a grossly exagerated victory speech by the man who just had the most miserable experience of his life but insists it was exactly what he needed and/or intended, or (2) as a story on the 10 o'clock news. 

These days a new form of 'roughing it' has emerged that I am excited to say can cause little to no physical harm, though it does put yourself at risk emotionally and socially.  What is it, you ask... using inadequately low-tech gear!  For example, why pay the money for an expensive GPS navigation system in your car?  You've got a printer and google maps!  Just print them out and see what happens.  Usually, you'll be just fine.  If you hide the paper and make some convienent bathroom stops, you may even be able to claim you have a great sense of direction, something no man was ever born with (remember, Columbus was trying to get to India).  Just remember that google maps do not 'recalculate' should you make a wrong turn and get yourself lost (something I learned the hard way in the bay area in 2006). 

Another example of the modern 'roughing it', is using a dumb phone (aka a phone that does nothing except that which phones originally did).  Simply know the numbers of least 4 people that have a smart phone or another device with an internet connection (my mom, my sister-in-law, and my two little sisters are always on or near their devices).  If you need something looked up, just call one of them.  This form of modern roughing it can be very impressive if you pull it off.  You just say, "let me contact one of my people for that information." and discretely call one of your contacts.  If you get the information your friends and associates will think, "Wow, he's got people!  I wish I had people.  All I have is the stupid smart phone."  If you don't get the information, they will be thinking, "Wow, his people stink, I'll bet he just called his mom." and the mocking will begin. 

There are many advantages to this new form of roughing it: 1) No wild animals to eat you and so forth, 2) Zero possiblity of it making national television should something go wrong, and 3) food poisoning (and the unfortunate experience of having food poisoning while 'roughing it') is basically impossible.  Disadvantages, however, exist as well: 1) you are not secluded, people will notice any mistakes (and likely mock your inadequate low-tech gear), 2) should you fail, you cannot exaggerate the experience to your favor (again, you are with people), and finally, 3) there are no points for being 'brave enough' to try it.  You'll just look cheap and stupid.  Beware failure!

So head out and try the new form of roughing it.  Enjoy the lack of bear attacks and other bodily perils, and be sure to have a back-up plan should your mom not answer her phone.  Remember.  Most of the time, roughing it (whether the new form or the old form) simply results in borrowing a prepared persons stuff.  Good luck!

Sincerely,

an "average" Joe