The Hip Holster of Heaven

In this modern day of 16 hour attacks on amusement parks, riding as many rides as possible and eating greasy foods and standing line for hours and hours, there is one accessory that can make your vacation go from fun to life changing. I refer to it as the hip holster of heaven, but most people refer to it as a fanny-pack.

Fanny-packs are known as a fashion faux pas. People insist they look ridiculous, and laugh when someone uses one, but I argue that they are better than any other satchel-like carrying case. Purses are not attached to your person, leaving them vulnerable to getting lost or stolen. Not to mention they cannot be used by men, leaving women to do all of the heavy lifting, and at the corn-dog stand, the men lack the power of the purse.



Backpacks are equally awkward, lest we forget, they are attached to your back. If little Johnny does something funny with his Mickey Mouse ears on, you won't have enough time to get out the video camera out. Not only will that memory be gone, but you'll never get your chance at $10000 and a chance to meet Tom Bergeron.

So, amusement park attendee's, let's make a stand. Let's stand up for not having a sweaty back! Let's stand up for a uni-sex carrying case! Let's stand up for not having to carry 30 pounds of electronics in our pants pockets and having our pants fall down all day! Join me in bringing the fanny-pack back into use. Amusement park attendee's of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your discomfort!

Sincerely -

An 'Average' Joe

Strange (but hopefully somewhat interesting) thoughts from a Sleep Deprived 'Average' Joe

Okay, here's some small, short thoughts all wrapped up into one post:

1) Has anyone else ever noticed that grape soda smells like dirt? It does! Next time you have some take a good whiff, you'll see I'm right.

2) Have you ever noticed that Ham Fried Rice smells and tastes like bacon fried rice when microwaved? Drives me crazy, if there's one thing that doesn't work, its soy sauce and bacon.

3) Does it drive anyone else crazy when people refer to some where south of them as up, and somewhere north of them as down? I agree with Treebeard the Ent, south is downhill. (that's a Lord of the Rings reference for those who haven't seen the movies as many times as I have.)

4)Who loves the Food Network? I do, but i'm pretty sure I have at least 10 extra pounds of body fat that I can blame on them. It's hard to disagree with an accomplished chef who insists on adding more butter to a dish.

5)Has anyone else noticed that sleep deprivation and an obsession with food seem to go hand in hand? I argue that it does, and submit this post as evidence of its truthfulness.

Thanks for reading this. I hope it hasn't turned you off of the blog. I promise not every post will be this strange.

Sincerely,

An 'Average' Joe

Awkward Conversation - Strike the correct tone

How many times in your life have you been talking to someone and they tell you something that derails the conversation. You're having a great time debating the merits of a TV show or the latest local gossip when... BAM!!! You're smacked in the face by something you never wanted to hear, and certainly don't want to discuss. For example, mid-conversation someone tells you that they have an particularly ugly and smelly foot fungus they picked up recently. How do you reply to something like that?

I can tell you something that can change your life and make those awkward conversations go away. It's one word, three little letters. You simply say... huh. Now a word of caution. The important aspect is not the word, but the tone. If your tone is too high, it expresses more interest and begs that they continue. An offhand remark about foot fungus is suddenly a very long discussion on their medical history. On the other side of the coin, if your tone is too low, it will express offense, even disdain. They may take offense, and your awkward conversation is now an awkward relationship.

But, should you master the correct tone of the word 'huh' you will enjoy a wonderful escape from awkward discussions. You will find that you have, in one three letter word, acknowledged their comment and politely declined to continue the topic. You will find it to be one of the most useful tools in your conversation tool belt and be very grateful to this 'average' Joe.

Sincerly

An 'average' Joe

The Origin of Blogging - Ender's Game

For my first post I thought it would be appropriate to blog about blogging. A week or so ago I was laying on the couch and it hit me: Orson Scott Card is a genius. He predicted blogging as a form of media that would be quite influential. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card was published in 1985, a great year for the world. A lot of great things happened that year. However, that year was essentially void of the internet, and certainly lacking blogs. In fact, Enders Game has three specific preditions that I thought were incredibly prophetic.

First, he predicted the internet. A mass form of communication that linked households throughout the world. Second, Peter and Valentine start writing articles on public pages sharing their ideas, opinions, and so forth, so similar to blogging its scary. Demosthenes (Valentine) and Locke (Peter) were essentially bloggers. Finally, Card predicted the use of tablets. Read the description of their computers again, it sounds exactly like an iPad.

So in conclusion, Orson Scott Card, the genius writer that he is, predicted the use of (1) the internet, (2) blogging as a form of journalism and political movement, and (3) the overwhelming use of tablet computers. Pretty interesting, isn't it.

Thank you for reading, another post will come soon. Please share this blog with as many people as you would like. And feel free to leave your comments and opinions.

an 'average' Joe

Ho Ho Ho - Who wants melon?

So, I was in the store the other day, checking out one of my favorite areas, the fruit section. It's a fantastic place, I was walking between the peaches and the melons, an there it was, the jolliest fruit of them all. It also happened a fruit I had never heard of, the Santa Claus Melon.

The name obviously caught my attention, as I am a huge fan of anything Christmas, so I bought one. Here's a picture of it:

This was one of the larger fruits. The outside was green, the inside was a lighter green. It was crisp, fresh and moderately sweet. The texture actually reminded me of squash. It was pretty tasty. The name, however, still seems silly to me. There's no red, no fuzziness, and its a summer fruit. It has nothing resembling the holiday of all holidays in any way, or Jolly Ole St. Nick. The color and shape seem better suited to be called the Easter Bunny Melon.

Well, let me know what you think the real Christmas fruit should be? What fruit is most worth of being Santa's namesake? Personally, I have no idea.

Sincerely,

An 'average' Joe

An Introduction

Hello -

My name is Joe. I'm an average guy. I've got a great family, a wonderful wife, and a fantastic interest in basically everything. My greatest hobby is observation. I love watching the world around me and thinking about what it means. This blog is intended to be a sounding board for many of these ideas as well as a forum for people to discuss those things that this 'average Joe' finds interesting. Some topics that we're certainly going to discuss are:

an 'Average' Joe

- Orson Scott Card's prediction of blogging as a forum for discussion in the future.

- Analyzing movies, TV shows, and other recent media in a way that makes sense.

- Social implications of current events, political leaders, etc.

- and much, much more.

I intend to post a blog around once a week, possibly more. Please feel free to comment on the posts and share the blog with other people. The more the merrier.

Thanks for participating, and if you ever have any questions, or would like to know what this 'average Joe' thinks of some topic, don't hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,

An 'average Joe'