Play with your food, it may taste better!

One of the best things in the world is cake. Who doesn't love cake? However, the greatest kind of cake, by far, is the Bundt cake. A Bundt cake is king! It's even shaped like a crown. It doesn't matter the flavor, just being a Bundt makes it the best. Why? There's a hole in the middle! I'm not sure why baking cake batter in the shape of a ring makes such a big difference, but it does (see donuts as further proof). At the end of the day, that's really the only difference. Conclusion: The shape of your food matters.

The shape of the food doesn't just affect cakes, it affects everything. For example, any type pasta is basically the same thing in different shapes. It's amazing how the same dough molded into forms can change the flavor of the food. Have you ever had alfredo sauce over spaghetti noodles? It's not right! It doesn't just look off, it tastes off. Have you ever tried to put macaroni in lasagna? Failure, once again! Each type of noodle is made from the same dough recipe. The only difference is the shape, and it matters.

Another example of shape making all the difference is Mexican food. Let's face it; most dishes are the same ingredients in different forms. Burritos are just big tacos that you close. Enchiladas are basically small burritos smothered in sauce. Tostadas are just the product of someone forgetting to close the hard taco shell before they fried it. In the end, they are the same dish served in different formats. Again, you think that since we chew food the layout or shape of the dish wouldn't matter. Put the same ingredients in and it will taste the same, right? Wrong! Anybody who knows Mexican food knows that a Tostada tastes nothing like a burrito (and frankly are far more hazardous, but that's another story).

So always remember how important the shape of your food can be. If something you cook tastes nasty, shape it differently. If you make tuna casserole that doesn't get the family excited, cut it into a circle and call it something else, like Tuna Rolloni. They won’t just love it, they'll brag about you to their friends (my mom makes the best Tuna Rolloni in the world) If you bake some cookies and accidentally switch the measurements of salt and sugar, cut them into triangles and put a little glaze on top (glaze is just wet sugar). It will be the life of the party and people will beg you for your recipe. As we have learned from Bundt cake, pasta, and Mexican food, what really matters in the shape, so be creative.

Sincerely,

an "average" Joe

Who better to fix our TV shows than Colin Powell?

Colin Powell is one of the greatest military leaders of our times. One of his contributions to American foreign policy is the Powell Doctrine. It is a list of questions to ask before engaging in an international conflict.  If all of the questions can be answered in the affirmative, then it may be appropriate for a country to use military action. Here are the questions:

1.      Is a vital national security interest threatened?

2.      Do we have a clear attainable objective?

3.      Have the risks and costs been fully and frankly analyzed?

4.      Have all other non-violent policy means been fully exhausted?

5.      Is there a plausible exit strategy to avoid endless entanglement?

6.      Have the consequences of our action been fully considered?

7.      Is the action supported by the American people?

8.      Do we have genuine broad international support?^[1]

Now, as a student of International Relations, I have studied the Powell Doctrine and have found it to be incredibly useful. But the Powell Doctrine is not limited to simply weighing whether or not we should send our troops into battle (although that is certainly the most important thing it does). It can also be applied to whether or not a TV show should exist. The same principles apply. Let me walk you through each questions, adjusting them to fit TV rather than international conflict.

1) Is the TV show going to satisfy a national television interest? If not, don't make it. Don't make shows that nobody is going to care about (I'd name some, but I don't care about them enough to know what they are called). Don't make shows that are just a copy cat of other shows (How many versions of American Idol can we come up with).

2) Does the show have a clear intelligible plot? I cannot tell you how many shows I have stopped watching because I couldn't keep track of who was who and what the heck was going on. Battlestar Galactica, while good, had too many main characters to track. And have you seen Once upon a Time? These are fairytales we grew up with, and I'm completely lost!

3) Has the plot been fully thought out? How many shows have you seen that they seem to be making the plot up as they go? Or aren't sure what the plot even is? I know White Collar gave me emotional whiplash with how many times the main character goes from loyal partner to lying jerk.

4) Have all other good shows been completed? Who isn't tired of good shows being cancelled to make room for shows we wish we'd never heard of?  Life, starting Damian Lewis, was a great show. It had two fantastic seasons, the second of which was by far the better one. Then WHAM!!! No more Life! I'm not sure what took its place, but I'm sure it wasn't worth losing a show we all loved.  If you're going to cancel a TV show, please finish the story.

5) Do you have a plausible plan to end the series? One of the worst things that can happen to a TV show is that it makes it to a 5th season. Before a network begins a new series, they need to ask themselves how the story will end. Monk, Bones, House, and Psych all suffer from this.  Now it seems that Castle is dragging us down the road of never-ending conspiracies and plot twists.  Please, don't destroy our favorite shows because you want to get syndicated.  The only thing worse than a good show being cancelled is watching what used to be a good show and wishing they would cancel it. 

6) Are we sure we have enough material to actually do a show? The purpose of point number 6 in the Powell Doctrine is to double check that we've covered everything else. With regards to TV, the writers and producers should ask themselves, are we sure we have enough material to make a TV show? Some great examples are Psych and Community, two of the funniest shows I've ever seen. But let’s face it, you know the writers are running out of ideas when every episode is based on some movie, or set of movies, rather than coming up with their own plots. Here's a good rule of thumb, when you've done 5 movie themed episodes in a row, it’s time to call it quits.

7-8) Is anyone going to want to watch the show?  The last two principles of the Powell Doctrine apply to television in the same way.  Unfortunately, many good shows are ignored, while many bad shows are watched by everyone and their dog. Why does television make bad shows? Simply because we watch them!  I know that bad TV can be addicting (I once watched an entire season of the Bachelor).   Fight it! Stand up for yourself! If you can't muster the courage to quit bad TV for yourself then quit bad TV for the people you love. Stop watching the dumb shows so that your loved ones are not subjected to them. They will thank you someday.

May your television be filled with good plots, interesting characters, and a clear ending.

Sincerely,

An 'average' Joe