The Bye Week

Between Christmas and New Years lies an awkward week when the world refuses to work, but has nothing planned. It is a dull week wedged between the climax of one year and the beginning of the next. I call this week the "bye week."  It is a week of wasting time, accomplishing nothing, and doing so proudly.
The bye week comes but once a year, and so to help you make the least of this time I have compiled a list of great time-wasting activities for your enjoyment. These activities have a few traits in common.  1) They take time, something you lack most of the year, but have in excess on the bye week. 2) The only thing they provide is something to brag about when you don’t care to impress anyone. 3) They can be a lot of fun.

However, before I we proceed I must warn you, this list is only for use during the bye week. Use of it any other time of year will get you labeled as a lazy-good-for-nothing by your parents, your boss, and that member of the opposite sex you want to impress.  Now, for the fun:
 
1)Movie Marathons
Years ago, a ironic genius took the word ‘marathon’ (one of greatest tests of physical endurance known to man) and put the word 'movie' in front of it, creating one of the laziest things man can do. Movie marathons are the perfect activity for the bye week. They provide mindless entertainment for an extend period of time. I would suggest a theme marathon.  For example you could choose a series such as Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or James Bond. Another option would be to choose an actor, for example, Val Kilmer movies.  You can be very creative on the themes.  Some ideas include movies about a particular historical event, movies that all take place in the same place (such as Pennsylvania), or movies with a title that gives away the plot.  It doesn't matter what you watch, it matters that you watched too much while consuming way too many calories.

2)Puzzles
This may be the world’s greatest time-wasting activity. Here's a brief review of how to do a puzzle. First, you see a picture on a box. Second, you open the box and dump out a bunch of little pieces out that are all different shapes and sizes. Third, you painstakingly place each piece in the exact position necessary to complete the puzzle (this step is dangerous, because if you lose even one piece, you compromise your sanity). Finally, you finish the puzzle and get to look at the very same picture you saw on the front of the box hours before. If you are looking for the perfect bye week activity, you've found it!
 
3)Facebook Social Games
There are tons of these games. You've seen the invites, the notifications, and the requests over and over. You, like everyone else, have probably unfriended at least 11 people because they played these games and flooded your facebook page with their never ending requests. Well, the bye week is the perfect time to give in and satisfy your curiosity.  Go ahead and see what these games are all about. You can try any of them, Farmville, Mafia Wars, Castleville...the list goes on.  Work hard at it, send the invites, and invest the time. You'll find a great sense of achievement when you've reached a level 30 on whatever game you've chosen, and your virtual assets are in the billions. It's your turn to annoy everyone you know with those requests. You may even spark up some old friendships getting your virtual empire up and running. Just remember, at the end of the bye week, all of this will be meaningless, and you're going to have to give up the game entirely.  Quitting cold turkey may seem easy now, but once your addicted you’ll have withdrawals (and relapses can be embarrassing).
 
So as you chose which bye week activity you're going to use, remember that all great time wasting activities have two things in common: you get a sense of accomplishment after having accomplished nothing and you're embarrassed to talk about it in front of your in-laws.
 
Happy Bye Week!

Sincerely,

an 'average' Joe