Death by Super-Sonic Plastic Bag

Yesterday, I nearly died!  I'm not kidding.  This story deserves telling.  I was driving down the freeway, going maybe 70 mph.  It was a very hot day, and my air conditioner is on strike, and has refused to work for the entire summer.  As a result, I had to drive with the windows down.

Now, I've found that the best way to unroll the windows is to lower the front window on the driver's side all the way down, and the rear window on the passenger's side half way down. (It would be all the way down, but for those pesky child locks.)  Anyway, the windows were thus positioned, and I was happily driving a brisk 70 mph singing one of my favorite songs at the top of my lungs when I was suddenly, and viciously, attacked.

I was terrified, what ever was attacking me had a firm grip on the back of my head, and was pulling on my ear with a vengeance.  The already deafening sound of the car was washed out by this terrible animal's noise.  I reached up and ripped it from my head only to find that the terrible beast was nothing more than a plastic grocery sack blown into my car by the wind on the freeway.  No sooner had I made this discovery when the crazed animal lunged out of my hands and into the wind once again, surely to prey on some other poor driver with a broken air conditioner.

The moral of this story is: 1) never underestimate the power and danger of an angry plastic bag.  When they become angry, they also become vindictive and cruel. 2) Be careful not to open your windows too wide and drive too fast, apparently if you open them too wide, you open yourself to attack from freeway garbage. 3) If you, like me, find yourself victim of an angered plastic bag don't panic.  I repeat:  DON'T PANIC!  Their rustle is worse than their bite.

Good luck in your journeys.  May you travel safer than I have recently.

Sincerely,

an 'average' Joe