My little sister moved to college today. Congratulations, little sis! You'll do great. In her honor, and to help her out a little, I have decided that today's post will be a money saving oppurtunity. I would like to give her, and all my readers, three great ways to use Top Ramen. Now, a disclaimer, this advice is meant for entertainment only. If you chose to try any of these three recipes please do so at your own risk, and don't blame me for any adverse affect to your breath, your social life or your colon.
Now, the three great uses for Top Ramen:
1)A Delicious Soup - Nothing tastes better on a cold winter day than a hot pack of Top Ramen. You can cook a package for next to nothing, and in next to no time. I suggest you stick with the classics, beef or chicken flavor. Don't expect there to actually be any beef or chicken, but the subtle flavor, masked by as much sodium as a person can safely consume will be enjoyable. You'll love it. I would recommend adding some peas and carrots to the broth for added flavor and improved texture. Trust me, this dish can get you through the day, or at least to the next meal.
2)Collegiate Spagetti - Named for those who most commonly attempt this dish, collegiate spagetti is full of flavor, if you like ketchup and salt. Just cook your noodles as usual, drain the broth, and add some ketchup. If you're really handy in the kitchen, add some basil, or oregano. Avoid anything with too much spice, as that can cause very adverse affects, including the possible implosion of your liver. Also, while you may thing that ketchup is too expensive, remember, your local McDonald's has plenty of free ketchup packets. Bon Appetite!
3)Cho Ramen Chow Mein - Take your taste buds east to Asia. You'll love the simpleness of this recipe. Just cook the noodles, drain the broth, put it back the pan with a little oil and stir-fry it up. In the end, add a soy sauce packet or two that you can pick up at your local Panda Express. For added cultural fun, grab a pair of chop sticks as well. For instructions on how to use them, check youtube. You'll love the flavor and really enjoy dive into east asian cuisine.
You probably never knew that Ramen Noodles could go so far. Enjoy yourself as you discover the magical world the ten cents and a few packets stolen from your local fast food chain can do for you.
Good luck to all you new college students.
Sincerely,
An 'average' Joe
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Addendum/Retraction for Top 5 Best Worst Movies
So apparently there are some extreme Better Off Dead fans who read my blog, all of which were quite offended that I would add Better Off Dead to a list of 'bad' movies. The Better Off Dead brigade did make a an excellent argument against it being a bad movie: it was intended to be what it was, a silly movie. The story, acting and effects were right on target. Calling this a bad movie is like referring to Tommy Boy as a bad movie. They were accomplished exactly what they were meant to accomplish. Therefore, I have decided to retract Better Off Dead as #2 on my list, and replace it with three more really great bad movies.
1) Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
This is Kurt Russell at his best, and worst. He plays the gruff and tough truck Jack Burton, who inadvertently gets sucked into an ancient Chinese war, which some how has migrated to Chinatown in San Francisco. The effects in this movie are classic, and the Chinese warriors have great magic powers. The 'storms' are especially fierce. This movie's plot is the thing of dreams, bad dreams you have when you're sick with a fever. However, Kurt Russell is genius, and his character has some of the best, most quotable lines of any movie ever made. See it, and then watch it again and again. You'll enjoy the journey.
2)Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
This movie was intended to be the first of many adventures, in a series to rival James Bond or Jack Ryan. The only problem is that this movie was a joke. The acting is terrible, which is fine, because the story is so outlandish that you hardly notice. Remo Williams is a ex-cop forcefully recruited to work as a super assassin for an agency intended to end the worst men of the world. He is being trained by Chun, the Korean martial arts master who can teach Remo to do great things, such as run on sand leaving no footprints and dodging bullets by listening to the hand muscles of the attacker. That being said, the dialogue is very entertaining, the characters are wonderfully simple, and story is actually quite exciting. I definitely recommend this movie as one of the best of the worst. Add it to your library, and then be grateful they never made a sequel.
3)The Last Starfighter (1986)
Who ever said video games get you no where. This movie proves otherwise when an intelligent boy living in the middle of nowhere beats an arcade game located in his trailer park and WHAM! He's quickly visited by an alien who recruits him to serve as a starfighter in the intergalactic military. He not only joins the alliance, he survives as the last starfighter, and saves the frontier from the emperor's evil (and really strange looking) son Xur and the Kodan Armada. This is one of my favorite movies as well, with some great scenes, some fantastic characters, and a lot of funny situations. If you can get past the side kick alien who looks like an iguana and is very in touch with his feminine side, you'll love it as much as I do.
Well, that's all folks. Three more great bad movies to add to the list, and one removed. Have fun with them. My guess is that most of them are free on Netflix. I'd recommend giving them a try. You'll love them if you can let go of any desire for quality, and focus on the 'bright side' of terrible movies.
Sincerely,
An 'average' Joe
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